Seriously I M Kidding

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Seriously...I'm Kidding

Seriously...I'm Kidding
  • Author : Ellen DeGeneres
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2011-10-04
  • Total pages :256
  • ISBN : 0446585033
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Summary : Ellen DeGeneres's winning, upbeat candor has made her show one of the most popular, resilient, and honored daytime shows on the air, and her life makes for great (and very funny) reading. Relatable, her first stand-up special in 15 years, airs on Netflix beginning December 18, 2018. "I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more. PRAISE FOR SERIOUSLY...I'M KIDDING "DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." - People "Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." - Publishers Weekly "Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." -- Kirkus

The Funny Thing Is...

The Funny Thing Is...
  • Author : Ellen DeGeneres
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2003-10-28
  • Total pages :192
  • ISBN : 0743253663
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Summary : Ellen DeGeneres published her first book of comic essays, the #1 bestselling My Point...and I Do Have One, way back in 1996. Not one to rest on her laurels, the witty star of stage and screen has since dedicated her life to writing a hilarious new book. That book is this book. After years of painstaking, round-the-clock research, surviving on a mere twenty minutes of sleep a night, and collaborating with lexicographers, plumbers, and mathematicians, DeGeneres has crafted a book that is both easy to use and very funny. Along with her trademark ramblings, The Funny Thing Is...contains hundreds of succinct insights into her psyche, supplemented by easy-to-understand charts, graphs, and diagrams so that you'll never miss a joke. Overseeing all aspects of production, DeGeneres labored over details both significant and insignificant, including typefaces, page number placement, and which of the thousands of world languages to use. Ultimately she selected English, as it's her mother tongue, but translations into Hindi and Pig Latin are already in the works. DeGeneres takes an innovative approach to the organization of her book by utilizing a section in the beginning that includes the name of each chapter, along with a corresponding page number. She calls it the "Table of Contents," and she is confident that it will become the standard to which all books in the future will aspire. Some of the other innovative features you'll find in this edition: • More than 50,000 simple, short words arranged in sentences that form paragraphs. • Thousands of observations on everyday life -- from terrible fashion trends to how to handle seating arrangements for a Sunday brunch with Paula Abdul, Diane Sawyer, and Eminem. • All twenty-six letters of the alphabet. Sure to make you laugh, The Funny Thing Is...is an indispensable reference for anyone who knows how to read or wants to fool people into thinking they do.

My Point...And I Do Have One

My Point...And I Do Have One
  • Author : Ellen Degeneres
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2011-03-16
  • Total pages :224
  • ISBN : 0307765628
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Summary : In this #1 New York Times bestseller, Ellen DeGeneres shares her hilarious take on everything from our most baffling human foibles–including how we behave in elevators, airplanes, and restrooms, and why we’re so scared of the boogeyman–to fashion trends, celebrity, and her secret recipe for Ellen’s Real Frenchy French Toast. Most of all, this witty, engaging book offers insights into the mind of one of America’s most beloved comics.… Dear Reader, I was awfully excited when I was asked to write a book. I was however, nervous. I was afraid I didn’t have anything important to say. But when I began writing, I realized that although I don’t know a lot about any one thing, I know a little about a whole bunch of things: baking a pie; dancing; curing the common cold; running the Iditarod–it’s all in the book. And I realized I notice things that maybe some people don’t notice (or they don’t notice that they don’t notice). That’s all in the book, too.

Home

Home
  • Author : Ellen DeGeneres
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2015-11-01
  • Total pages :288
  • ISBN : 9781460751589
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Summary : Beloved comedian and talk show host Ellen DeGeneres opens up for the first time about her love of home design and style. Ellen DeGeneres has bought and renovated nearly a dozen homes over the last twenty-five years; has a design show, Ellen's Design Challenge, on HGTV; and has launched a lifestyle collection of fashion and interior goods, ED by Ellen e-shop. In HOME, she will, for the first time, share her passion for home design and style and invite the reader inside her homes. DeGeneres believes, 'You don't have to have money to have good taste,' and in this book she offers design ideas and advice she has learned from decorating each of her homes. DeGeneres, who describes her real-estate and renovating adventures as 'an education,' has long cared deeply about design. 'I think I wanted to be an interior designer when I was thirteen,' DeGeneres said. Full of beautiful photographs of seven of her own homes, as well as places she visits for inspiration, this book is a treasure trove of beautiful rooms and hundreds of ideas and tips on putting together the home you've always wanted.

Love, Ellen

Love, Ellen
  • Author : Betty DeGeneres
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2013-05-28
  • Total pages :400
  • ISBN : 0062276107
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Summary : "Mom, I'm gay." With three little words, gay children can change their parents' lives forever. Yet at the same times it's a chance for those parents to realize nothing, really, has changed at all; same kid, same life, same bond of enduring love. Twenty years ago, during a walk on a Mississippi beach, Ellen DeGeneres spoke those simple, powerful words to her mother. That emotional moment eventually brought mother and daughter closer than ever, but not without a struggle. Coming from a republican family with conservative values, Betty needed time and education to understand her daughter's homosexuality -- but her ultimate acceptance would set the stage for a far more public coming out, one that would change history. In Love, Ellen, Betty DeGeneres tells her story; the complicated path to acceptance and the deepening of her friendship with her daughter; the media's scrutiny of their family life; the painful and often inspiring stories she's heard on the road as the first non-gay spokesperson for the Human Rights Campaigns National Coming Out Project. With a mother's love, clear minded common sense, and hard won wisdom, Betty DeGeneres offers up her own very personal memoir to help parents understand their gay children, and to help sons and daughters who have been rejected by their families feel less alone.

Uganda Be Kidding Me

Uganda Be Kidding Me
  • Author : Chelsea Handler
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2014-03-04
  • Total pages :272
  • ISBN : 1455599727
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Summary : Wherever Chelsea Handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. On safari in Africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live (Asia, duh) or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches. When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, hot travel trips, and travel etiquette, none of which should be believed, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.

Ellen DeGeneres: A Biography

Ellen DeGeneres: A Biography
  • Author : Lisa Iannucci
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2008-11-30
  • Total pages :128
  • ISBN : 0313353719
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Summary : In 1997 Ellen DeGeneres made television history when she came out to the American public on her nationally syndicated sitcom. In spite of the controversy stirred by this personal revelation, Ellen DeGeneres has gone on to become on one the most popular personalities in Hollywood. With her own highly rated daily talk show, a lucrative ad campaign with American Express, and a successful turn as Oscar host to her credit, she has become one of America's leading female comedians and won her has place a household name. High profile romances with actresses Anne Heche and fiance Portia de Rossi, have also made a her an unassuming champion for gay and lesbian rights. Ellen Degeneres' monumental success, however, belies a painful childhood and uncertain career beginnings. This comprehensive and intriguing biography explores the life events that shaped the hilarious public figure we know today. Complete with a chronology of significant events, illustrations, and a bibliography of print and electronic resources, this detailed biography is ideal for general readers looking to learn more about their favorite star or for those seeking information on groundbreaking members of the gay and lesbian community.

"Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!": Adventures of a Curious Character

  • Author : Richard P. Feynman
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2018-02-06
  • Total pages :352
  • ISBN : 0393355683
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Summary : One of the most famous science books of our time, the phenomenal national bestseller that "buzzes with energy, anecdote and life. It almost makes you want to become a physicist" (Science Digest). Richard P. Feynman, winner of the Nobel Prize in physics, thrived on outrageous adventures. In this lively work that “can shatter the stereotype of the stuffy scientist” (Detroit Free Press), Feynman recounts his experiences trading ideas on atomic physics with Einstein and cracking the uncrackable safes guarding the most deeply held nuclear secrets—and much more of an eyebrow-raising nature. In his stories, Feynman’s life shines through in all its eccentric glory—a combustible mixture of high intelligence, unlimited curiosity, and raging chutzpah. Included for this edition is a new introduction by Bill Gates.

I Can't Make This Up

I Can't Make This Up
  • Author : Kevin Hart
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2017-06-06
  • Total pages :400
  • ISBN : 150115558X
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Summary : New York Times bestselling author, superstar comedian, and Hollywood box office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have a “hilarious but also heartfelt” (Elle) memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself. The question you’re probably asking yourself right now is: What does Kevin Hart have that a book also has? According to the three people who have seen Kevin Hart and a book in the same room, the answer is clear: A book is compact. Kevin Hart is compact. A book has a spine that holds it together. Kevin Hart has a spine that holds him together. A book has a beginning. Kevin Hart’s life uniquely qualifies him to write this book by also having a beginning. It begins in North Philadelphia. He was born an accident, unwanted by his parents. His father was a drug addict who was in and out of jail. His brother was a crack dealer and petty thief. And his mother was overwhelmingly strict, beating him with belts, frying pans, and his own toys. The odds, in short, were stacked against our young hero. But Kevin Hart, like Ernest Hemingway, J.K. Rowling, and Chocolate Droppa before him, was able to defy the odds and turn it around. In his literary debut, he takes us on a journey through what his life was, what it is today, and how he’s overcome each challenge to become the man he is today. And that man happens to be the biggest comedian in the world, with tours that sell out football stadiums and films that have collectively grossed over $3.5 billion. He achieved this not just through hard work, determination, and talent. “Hart is an incredibly magnetic storyteller, on the page as he is onstage, and that’s what shines through [in this] genial, entertaining guide to a life in comedy” (Kirkus Reviews).

Care To Make Love In That Gross Little Space Between Cars?

Care To Make Love In That Gross Little Space Between Cars?
  • Author : The Believer
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2012-03-06
  • Total pages :224
  • ISBN : 0307947661
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Summary : The Believer magazine presents a compendium of advice from producers, writers, and actors of The Daily Show, Saturday Night Live, Parks and Recreation, Late Show with David Letterman, The Hangover, and The Colbert Report, along with other musicians, cartoonists, New Yorker writers, and those similarly unqualified to offer guidance. Here Amy Sedaris describes the perfect murder for unwanted hermit crabs—you will need a piece of meat and a brick. Simon Rich explains how to avoid being found dead in your underwear by firemen—buy some long johns. Zach Galifianakis provides insight into how he changed his name without a social security card—he just started calling himself Adam Zapple, and it stuck. Bob Saget finally illuminates what “friends with benefits” really means—a nonsexual relationship wherein your ex makes monetary deposits into your bank account. Contributors include: Rob Baedeker, Anne Beatts, Elizabeth Beckwith, Jerri Blank, Roz Chast, Louis C.K., Mike Doughty, Dave Eggers, Rich Fulcher, Zach Galifianakis, Dan Guterman, Anthony Jeselnik, Julie Klausner, Lisa Lampanelli, Nick Hornby, Sam Lipsyte, Liam Lynch, Merrill Markoe, Rose McGowan, Misc. Canadian rock musicians, Laraine Newman, The Pleasure Syndicate, Bob Powers, Simon Rich, Bob Saget, George Saunders, Kristen Schaal, Paul Scheer, Amy Sedaris, Allison Silverman, Paul Simms, Brendon Small, Jerry Stahl, Scott Thompson, Fred Willard, Cintra Wilson, Weird Al Yankovic, and Alan Zweibel

Ask a Manager

Ask a Manager
  • Author : Alison Green
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2018-05-01
  • Total pages :304
  • ISBN : 0399181822
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Summary : The ideal graduation gift for anyone about to enter the workforce, a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice from the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist. There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Advance praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Clear and concise in its advice and expansive in its scope, Ask a Manager is the book I wish I’d had in my desk drawer when I was starting out (or even, let’s be honest, fifteen years in).”—Sarah Knight, New York Times bestselling author of The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck

Down to You

Down to You
  • Author : M. Leighton
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2013-02-12
  • Total pages :304
  • ISBN : 1101637439
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Summary : One girl. Twin brothers. An uncommon triangle. When college student Olivia Townsend returned home to help her father run his business, she never imagined a complication like Cash and Nash Davenport—twin brothers different in so many ways but with one thing in common: an uncontrollable desire for Olivia. Cash is dangerous, sexy, and bad to the bone—a man whose kisses make Olivia forget she is playing with fire. Nash is successful, reliable and intensely passionate—and already taken. But all it takes is one soft stroke to make Olivia forget he belongs to someone else. However, Olivia is in for a surprise. These boys have a secret that should make her run away as far and as fast as she can. If only it wasn’t too late. A sensual game between three players has begun, and it’s about to spin deliriously out of control. Includes a teaser for The Wild Ones

White Ivy

White Ivy
  • Author : Susie Yang
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2020-11-03
  • Total pages :368
  • ISBN : 1982100613
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Summary : ***LONGLISTED FOR THE CENTER FOR FICTION’S FIRST NOVEL PRIZE*** From prizewinning Chinese American author Susie Yang, this dazzling coming-of-age novel about a young woman’s dark obsession with her privileged classmate offers sharp insights into the immigrant experience. Ivy Lin is a thief and a liar—but you’d never know it by looking at her. Raised outside of Boston, Ivy’s immigrant grandmother relies on Ivy’s mild appearance for cover as she teaches her granddaughter how to pilfer items from yard sales and second-hand shops. Thieving allows Ivy to accumulate the trappings of a suburban teen—and, most importantly, to attract the attention of Gideon Speyer, the golden boy of a wealthy political family. But when Ivy’s mother discovers her trespasses, punishment is swift and Ivy is sent to China, and her dream instantly evaporates. Years later, Ivy has grown into a poised yet restless young woman, haunted by her conflicting feelings about her upbringing and her family. Back in Boston, when Ivy bumps into Sylvia Speyer, Gideon’s sister, a reconnection with Gideon seems not only inevitable—it feels like fate. Slowly, Ivy sinks her claws into Gideon and the entire Speyer clan by attending fancy dinners, and weekend getaways to the cape. But just as Ivy is about to have everything she’s ever wanted, a ghost from her past resurfaces, threatening the nearly perfect life she’s worked so hard to build. Filled with surprising twists and a nuanced exploration of class and race, White Ivy is a glimpse into the dark side of a woman who yearns for success at any cost.

Yes, My Accent Is Real

Yes, My Accent Is Real
  • Author : Kunal Nayyar
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2015-09-15
  • Total pages :256
  • ISBN : 147676185X
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Summary : In the spirit of Mindy Kaling’s bestseller Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? or Judd Apatow’s Sick in the Head, a collection of humorous, autobiographical essays from Kunal Nayyar, best known as Raj on CBS’s #1 hit comedy The Big Bang Theory. Of all the charming misfits on television, there’s no doubt Raj from The Big Bang Theory—the sincere yet incurably geeky Indian astrophysicist—ranks among the misfittingest. Now, we meet the actor who is every bit as loveable as the character he plays on TV. In this revealing collection of essays written in his irreverent, hilarious, and self-deprecating voice, Kunal Nayyar traces his journey from a little boy in New Delhi who mistakes an awkward first kiss for a sacred commitment, gets nosebleeds chugging Coca-Cola to impress other students, and excels in the sport of badminton, to the confident, successful actor on the set of TV’s most-watched sitcom since Friends. Going behind the scenes of The Big Bang Theory and into his personal experiences, Kunal introduces readers to the people who helped him grow, such as his James Bond-loving, mustachioed father. Kunal also walks us through his college years in Portland, where he takes his first sips of alcohol and learns to let loose with his French, 6’8” gentle-giant roommate, works his first-ever job for the university’s housekeeping department cleaning toilets for minimum wage, and begins a series of romantic exploits that go just about as well as they would for Raj. (That is, until he meets and marries a former Miss India in an elaborate seven-day event that we get to experience in a chapter titled “My Big Fat Indian Wedding.”) Full of heart, but never taking itself too seriously, this witty collection of underdog tales follows a young man as he traverses two continents in search of a dream, along the way transcending culture and language (and many, many embarrassing incidents) to somehow miraculously land the role of a lifetime.

Keeper of the Lost Cities

Keeper of the Lost Cities
  • Author : Shannon Messenger
  • Publisher :
  • Release Date :2013-08-06
  • Total pages :512
  • ISBN : 1442445947
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Summary : At age twelve, Sophie learns that the remarkable abilities that have always caused her to stand out identify her as an elf, and after being brought to Eternalia to hone her skills, discovers that she has secrets buried in her memory for which some would kill.